


Like Melted Snow

by nuttinonice



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Making Up, Misunderstandings, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Porn with Feelings, Shower Sex, Smut, langa cries im sorry but he gets all the hugs, post-episode 9, they're both horny idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 15:47:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30024093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuttinonice/pseuds/nuttinonice
Summary: He doesn’t want to be alone again. He can’t. He can’t be strong for his mom by himself anymore, he misses his dad, he misses the snow.He misses his home in Canada for the first time in weeks because lately, home has just beenReki.
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki
Comments: 24
Kudos: 580





	Like Melted Snow

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me if none of my italics saved lol... so theres definitely stuff i should be working on for p*treon and the like, but I love this show so much and I really want the fandom to grow and thrive PLUSSSS idk i needed to make langa cry LMAO please enjoy these soft boys who i love so much
> 
> As with the last sk8 fic, i personally picture reki / langa as 18yr old high school seniors, but im not specifying ages, so imagine whatever your comfort level is.

He tries helplessly to fit the two pieces together in his hands as he makes his rounds, glancing up from the broken board every few seconds to look for a flash of red hair. Shit. It makes his heart hurt just looking at the pieces in his hands. He would’ve forfeited that move and lost the race if he knew he was going to break it. Reki made this just for him. He doesn’t want to skate on anything else. 

Eventually he makes it all the way back to the entrance gate. 

“Excuse me?” Langa asks, trying his best to get the accent right. It’s so hard speaking Japanese to people he’s not familiar with still. “Have you seen someone with red hair? He had a jacket on.”

The bouncer nods and cocks his head in the opposite direction. “Kid left a few minutes ago.”

“Thank you,” Langa says, tucking the biggest part of the board under his arm and running through the gate before he can be stopped by any fans or excited audience members. If it was just a few minutes ago, Reki can’t be too far — especially if he’s on foot.

Langa all but sprints down the side of the road, his heart pounding. Reki had shouted his name… does this mean he isn’t angry anymore? Are they okay again? Maybe when Langa shows him how much this board really means to him, Reki will understand… 

He’s out of breath when he spots a bright haired figure at the end of the block and cries out Reki’s name anyways, waving his free hand desperately. “Reki!” He shouts, jogging up to meet him even as his chest swells with anxious butterflies, his stomach in knots. 

Reki doesn’t run from him. He steps into the grass beside the road and waits until Langa reaches him, panting.

“Reki,” Langa gasps between breaths, dropping the two pieces of skateboard onto the grass and putting his hands on his knees. “Reki, I need you, please I…” He can feel the words getting caught in his throat. He can’t just spill his guts right here about everything he’s been feeling. Please, I love you. Please, I’ve missed you. Please, skating isn’t the same without you and now I’ve broken the best thing anyone’s ever given me. “The board broke at the very end. Please, can you help me fix it? I can’t skate on anything else, I…” He watches Reki’s hands curl into fists and gulps, standing up straight to see Reki glaring, more furious than he’s ever seen him before. 

The intensity in his eyes, it feels like hatred… Suddenly Langa feels sick.

“That’s what you tracked me down to say?” Reki bites back at him, stepping forward with such animosity that Langa actually stumbles a step back. “You need me to fix your stupid board?”

Stupid? Langa feels his face pale at the realization he’d already said things all wrong. He’s upset about the board because it’s from Reki, a symbol of their friendship, not because he cares about racing. “I… No, I just…”

“Not everything is about you, you know.” Reki hisses and it’s so unlike him to speak this way, Langa almost feels frightened. “You promised me you wouldn’t skate in Adam’s stupid tournament and then you did exactly that! You come running after me just to tell me you fucked up the board? Anyone can do the stupid modifications for you, Langa. Get a new one.”

“I… I don’t want a new one,” Langa bends down and grabs the main piece of it in his hands, clutching it tight to his chest. “You made this one for me, it’s…” His mouth wobbles and he bites his cheek to stop it as quickly as possible. He’s not going to cry. He blinks back the tears that are just beginning to sting and looks desperately at Reki, searching for the right words to say, praying he’ll find a way to make this right.

“Reki, I’m so sorry I broke the promise I made you. You weren’t talking to me and I didn’t understand why, I didn’t think… I thought skating might make you excited to be around me again, so I entered the tournament, but…” He stops talking before his voice can crack, shutting his mouth instead. He can feel himself quaking as he lowers himself to his knees. He hasn’t felt like this since… God, he can’t break down like that in front of someone.

“I was upset, that didn’t mean that I…” Reki groans in exasperation. “That didn’t mean the promise suddenly meant nothing! You’re so high above everyone else, you don’t even understand.”

“What?” Langa feels those words cut right through his heart, his breath hitching as a sob tries to rise in his throat. Above everyone else? He’s just a rookie… He thought Reki was his friend above all, but do the others see him like that too? He thought they were all friends.

“Everyone is crazy for you!” Reki huffs. “You don’t hear all the shit they say when you’re not around about what a loser I am and how I’m just clinging to you. You know what can happen skating against someone like Adam and you still go up against him!” Reki sounds more frustrated than angry, but Langa can’t hear him very well anymore. “I’m scared for you when you go out there. It’s like you don’t even care if you get hurt!”

So nothing’s changed.

Langa thought this was a fresh start, but he’s right back at square one — by himself again, flying high with no one to catch him. There’s a horrible emptiness in his chest, his heart physically aching as he struggles to swallow the lump in his throat. Why does this hurt so much?

He doesn’t want to be alone again. He thought Reki was his person, the one that would stay at his side for good, but he fucked it all up. Reki reached out to him. Reki taught him how to skate, he made this board just for him and all Langa did was hurt him in return.

Reki is right, he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t know why Reki started ignoring him and he wracked his brain for hours over what it could have been. Maybe he really is too separated from everyone else… Maybe he’s still alone at the top of the mountain and this whole time, he’s never truly been by Reki’s side. But everything had felt so real, it couldn’t possibly…

“Um… Langa?” Reki asks, his tone softening just a little bit, but Langa can hardly hear him. 

His heart is pounding in his ears and he can’t seem to move, his breath becoming faster and faster like he just can’t get enough air into his lungs, he can’t breathe. He doesn’t want to be alone again. He can’t. He can’t be strong for his mom by himself anymore, he misses his dad, he misses the snow. He misses his home in Canada for the first time in weeks because lately, home has just been Reki. 

He’s going to lose this too. 

“I’m sorry,” Langa manages to croak, folding in on himself and hugging the board to his chest as the first tears spill over — too much for him to blink back this time. Maybe he can put the board back together himself. Maybe he can figure it out and then Reki will understand what he meant when he said he wanted it fixed. He’ll drop out of the tournament, he’ll grovel on his hands and knees, just please God let him have this one thing. Even if Reki doesn’t return his feelings, just to have him in his life, to be his friend again would mean more than Langa can put into words. 

“Whoa, hey… Langa.”

Langa just presses his lips together in a line and shakes his head, refusing to lift it and let Reki see him crying like this. He wants his dad. He wants a soothing familiar voice to tell him to get up and brush it off, that things are okay and there’s nothing that can’t be fixed. He doesn’t have that voice anymore. All he has is the angry tone of Reki’s words bouncing around in his mind. 

You’re so high above everyone else, you don’t even understand.

“I can try to understand,” Langa croaks, fighting back his tears with everything he has. “I can be better, I can…”

“Are you crying?”

“No.”

“Langa, look up at me.”

Langa shakes his head and clamps a hand over his mouth as the first sob escapes him. He doesn’t want to do this right now, he wants to swallow it like he always does when this feeling wells up. He needs to be winning Reki back, not falling to pieces in front of him, but he’s crying before he knows it, his nose stuffy and his breath hitching. 

“Langa,” Reki sounds a little more frantic, dropping to his knees in front of him and grabbing his shoulders. “Hey, hey, don’t cry! I seriously didn’t mean to make you this upset, I… I-I’m sorry, can you breathe?”

Langa gasps for air, but it feels like he’s not taking any in. He shakes his head again and hugs the broken board as tight as he can, trying to ground himself as little sobs bubble out of his mouth. 

He’d been doing so well. He hadn’t broken down like this since his first few days here in Japan and now every bottled emotion is bursting to the surface where he doesn’t want them to be seen. 

“I love this board because you gave it to me, Reki,” Langa cries, his arms trembling, he’s clutching it so tightly. “I wasn’t trying to use you, I-“ he hiccups and has to swallow hard to continue speaking. He’s shaking all over, but he has to get these words out if he doesn’t want to lose Reki forever. “It means so much to me, I can’t stand it being broken.”

“Huh?” Reki blinks at him. “You came running here all teary eyed because it’s… sentimental?”

Langa nods desperately, still looking down at the ground. 

“You weren’t just freaked out you wouldn’t be able to compete?”

“I don’t want to compete without you,” Langa sniffles. “My heart only races against big competitors because you’re watching me. I wanted to win for you.”

“Oh…” Reki’s voice is quiet now, one hand still on Langa’s shoulder, rubbing his bicep up and down a little like he’s trying to soothe him. Langa’s afraid to melt into the touch like he wants to. “Langa, did you… really have no clue why I was down lately?”

Langa shakes his head and takes a deep shaky breath in, managing to hold it a moment before blowing it back out. It feels a tiny bit better. “I thought maybe you just weren’t feeling well and you would tell me if you wanted to talk about it…” He doesn’t say it out loud, but he had recognized some of the tell tale signs of mild depression. He’d seen it in himself before and if Reki was depressed, Langa wasn’t going to force him to talk about it. He just wanted to be there for him, but Reki had pushed him away. “What did I do?” 

“You…” Reki thinks for a moment and sighs, his shoulders slumping. “You didn’t do anything… Shit, it was me. It was all me.”

“Huh?” Langa sniffs and finally musters the courage to look up at him, knowing he must look downright gross, but he has to see Reki’s expression. He looks sad now… almost guilty? 

“People were just being really shitty about the ability gap between us and I felt like… you were too good for me.” Reki shrugs his shoulders. “You’re a force of nature out there and I’m just… your friend on the sidelines.”

“I never heard anyone say that… why didn’t you tell me?” Langa hates the idea that anyone had hurt Reki’s feelings and he hadn’t been there to defend him. Hell, this whole skating thing happened because he couldn’t stand to see Reki get hurt racing against Shadow. Like hell he would ever let some shitty skaters make Reki feel bad about himself.

“I figured you had to know with how often I heard it and I just didn’t want to talk about it because I knew I would end up getting pissed at you and then… I guess I ended up doing that anyways.” Reki holds his hands out to Langa. “Let me see the board.”

“Really?” Langa latches on to the glimmer of hope and wipes his eyes before passing the board into Reki’s hands. “Can you fix it?”

“Maybe,” Reki answers honestly, reaching into the grass for the other piece and fitting them together. “I don’t think it would be safe for you to skate on if I did though. You have a lot of power and I don’t want it to shatter under you.”

“Oh.” Langa feels his heart sink down to his stomach, eyes welling all over again.

“But that doesn’t mean you have to lose the board,” Reki says, reaching out and putting a hand on Langa’s knee, right over the tear in the denim, so he’s touching his skin. Reki is warm. It’s only now that Langa realizes it’s a little cold out tonight. “I can fix it for you. I’ll make it look good as new and we can hang it on the wall in your room or something.”

“But…”

“I’ll make you new boards to skate on. They’ll be even better,” Reki says, his eyes back to their usual radiance, his smile soft and comforting. Langa doesn’t deserve his kindness. Something is still gnawing at him inside, telling him Reki is too nice of a person to just stand and watch someone cry and that’s all this is. It doesn’t mean they’re back together as friends. 

Langa’s alone, stuck high up where no one can reach him. Reki practically said so himself.

“You don’t have to do that for me,” he murmurs, his eyes resting on where Reki’s hand is still touching him. 

“I didn’t know you cared this much before.”

“Of course I care,” Langa says and he hears his stupid Canadian accent slip out a little bit on ‘of course’, but it makes Reki smile a little more.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” Langa answers, still hiccuping a little. “Are we still friends?”

“Yeah,” Reki assures him, setting the board aside. “We are. If you can forgive me for making you cry like this.”

“I’m sorry,” Langa winces, wiping his eyes again just in case there’s still tears lingering. “I don’t really do this, I just… it started when Dad died and now when I get freaked out too much, I just…” 

“I didn’t know you got panic attacks too.”

“Too?”

“Well, I don’t get them regularly.” Reki shrugs, picking absentmindedly at a loose thread on Langa’s jeans, right on the edge of the tear. “But around when my friend got hurt, I had a bunch. I couldn’t sleep and stuff, but I got meds and now they only happen if something really really freaks me out.” He glances away, awkwardly shifting on his knees. “That may be why I got so defensive about you skating against Adam… I really can’t stand to see you get hurt.”

“I didn’t realize you were that worried for me…” 

“I didn’t realize you cared if I was.” Reki reaches out and pushes Langa’s hair back behind his ear, baring his face. It’s an intimate gesture, one that makes Langa blush high on his wet cheeks. “I’m really sorry I made you feel like this… Is there anything I can do?”

Langa’s heart thumps hard. Reki is touching him again, his hand lingering where he tucked his hair back and God. Langa’s emotionally wrung out. He’s embarrassed and incredibly relieved at the same time and the shitty street lamp is putting a halo right over Reki’s head. He looks like a neon haired angel and Langa wants to fall right into him. Maybe he isn’t alone again, at least not yet. Reki is here right in front of him and he needs to feel him close so badly that before he can think, he pulls Reki in by the collar of his shirt and kisses him. 

Reki’s lips part in a surprised little gasp at first, but the moment Langa tries to retreat, he leans in and reciprocates. 

The anxious butterflies turn to little fireworks in Langa’s chest. His heart is still hammering and his stomach is still in knots. He isn’t magically cured by a kiss, as much as he wishes he could be, but it doesn’t feel any less incredible. Reki’s mouth is warm and soft and he tastes just like bubble gum — that fruity pink kind he must have been chewing earlier. Langa doesn’t want to let go. 

“Langa,” Reki breathes against him, one hand on his waist as he kisses him again and again, coming back for more each time they part. 

“I love you,” Langa blurts out the moment he gets the chance. He actually meant to say the much more socially acceptable confession of ‘I like you’ but love is okay. Love is fine. If it doesn’t scare Reki away, love is great because it’s how Langa really feels. “I only love skating because I share it with you. I don’t feel anything at all skating by myself and I… you’re the most important person to me.” 

Reki’s face is flushed pink, but he doesn’t let Langa wallow in his anxiety, taking his hand and interlocking their fingers as he looks him in the eye to say, “I think I love you too. It seriously sucked not spending every day with you.” As if reading Langa’s mind, he leans in and kisses him one more time, a long and gentle press of his lips against Langa’s as his thumb draws soothing circles over the back of his hand, quietly soothing any lingering worries. “How are you feeling?”

“...Better.”

“Yeah?” Reki cocks an eyebrow.

“You might have to kiss me some more as treatment, I don’t know.”

“Look at you, you’re flirting!” Reki beams, laughing as he throws his arms around Langa’s shoulders and hugs him tight. 

Langa tries not to let on just how much it means to him as he hugs Reki back, never wanting to let go. He buries his face in his shoulder and breathes in his stupid douchey deodorant and his girly color-safe shampoo. Reki is so warm just as the wind blows and though he’s no stranger to the cold, Langa is happy to hide in his warmth. 

“You’re still shaking a little,” Reki says, rubbing Langa’s back in a way that’s sending him straight to heaven. “Panic attacks suck. I’m really, really sorry for going so far, I really had no clue you’d be hurt so much.”

“It’s okay,” Langa says, still clinging to him. I’m just glad you’re still here. 

“Can I take you home and hang out for a bit? Whenever I had an episode, I always liked to take a really hot shower and eat a ton of mac and cheese afterwards. I could make you some.”

Langa feels like his heart lifts all the way up from the pit of his stomach, the gesture makes him so happy. Reki wants to take care of him. He doesn’t seem revolted in the slightest though Langa is positive he’s a fairly ugly cryer. “Are you sure you aren’t still pissed at me? I was confused about the other stuff, but I’m still sorry I broke my promise to you.”

“I’m not mad. Really I’m way more into the fact that I can apparently kiss you now.”

“You could have been kissing me this whole time.”

“Don’t get too cocky now, snowflake,” Reki teases as he releases Langa from the hug and stands up to offer him a hand. 

Langa takes it, letting Reki pull him up, then bending down to pick up the pieces of his board. He can’t stop blushing and if they weren’t literally on the side of the road, he’d still be kissing Reki like it’s his last day on Earth. When Reki holds his hand out again, Langa is so happy to take it that he nearly cries for a whole different reason.

“I don’t want you to feel bad for being angry with me,” Langa says as they begin the long walk back to his house. “You can still be mad.”

“You shouldn’t have gone back on the promise and I shouldn’t have ignored you without telling you I was bummed out,” Reki sighs. “I… definitely shouldn’t have yelled at you like I did. That’s not like me, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay, I don’t… usually react that way.” Langa blushes and takes solace in the way Reki squeezes his hand as they make the turn towards his neighborhood. He wants to open up to Reki, but he’s done so much blubbering already, he’s embarrassed. Plus, he’s never been much of a sharer. Maybe if Reki opens up too… Langa can meet him half way.

“I understand,” Reki nods. “Did anything specific trigger you to make it that bad? I mean crying is one thing-“

Langa winces.

“Don’t be embarrassed about it,” Reki assures him, nudging his shoulder into Langa’s as they walk. “I’m a huge cry baby. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Langa still blushes, but he nods, appreciating that Reki’s trying to make him feel better about the whole thing. Maybe he should keep his heart open a little bit… “It was what you said about me being above everyone else… by myself.” He tries not to cringe at himself too hard as he continues. “I felt so alone snowboarding after my dad died and then we moved. I still suck at the language when I’m talking to anyone but you and I didn’t know anyone here. I just… don’t want to be that alone again. It was scary and the panic attacks were bad. Really bad.” If he hadn’t cried so much already, his eyes would probably be stinging right now. Losing his dad still feels so recent, it’s like a punch in the gut every time he remembers. 

“You’re not above everyone else… you’re just incredible. Everyone admires you, how could they not?” Reki starts doing that thing with his thumb again, drawing the little circles on the back of Langa’s hand that magically seem to settle his nerves. “I can imagine how lonely that all felt… I’m sorry for what I said.”

“No more sorrys tonight,” Langa says with a small smile. “My mom’s out of town for a business trip tonight if you want to stay over.” Wait shit, are they officially dating now? Are sleepovers weird? Would his mom kill him if he let his boyfriend spend the night as opposed to his best friend even if it happens to be the same person as before? “I mean, only if you want to.”

“Yeah, long as I can borrow some clothes and stuff.”

“Sure,” Langa smiles, his heart fluttering at the image of Reki wearing one of his sweatshirts. 

They spend the rest of the walk in a comfortable quiet, their hands remaining clasped together. Every time Reki’s thumb caresses the back of his palm, every time he squeezes his hand back a little bit, Langa swears he’s never been happier. It’s funny considering the state he was in just minutes ago, but the weight is lifted just knowing he hasn’t lost this. His best friend is still by his side and that same friend might even be a boyfriend now too. He’ll just… tell his mom some other time. 

When they reach his house, Langa reluctantly releases Reki’s hand to unlock the front door while Reki texts his mom he’ll be spending the night. 

He’s grateful they have the place to themselves, locking the door ahead behind them and setting the pieces of his board on the dining room table. He really should take a shower. He wants to kiss Reki a thousand more times, but his jeans are grass stained and he’s covered in dried sweat from the race. Still, he doesn’t really want to go and sit with his thoughts right now. He’d prefer to just stay next to Reki.

“I can start the water if you want. The hotter the better for me when I need to relax.” Reki shrugs.

“Um. Yeah, sure.” Langa swallows and tries not to blush. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, I just uh… I don’t really want to be by myself?” He winces at himself. He sounds pathetic right now. “I’d rather just stay by you.”

Reki raises an eyebrow at him. “You usually go running for the shower when you spend a night skating.”

Langa shrugs his shoulders. 

“I’ll just sit with you then.” Reki shrugs too and starts walking back towards Langa’s bedroom where his bathroom adjoins. “I can talk to you through the curtain.”

Langa’s face flashes pink. It wouldn’t be the first time… Plenty of times, they’ve had half a conversation while one of them was in the shower, usually because one of them had some spontaneous skating epiphany they couldn’t wait to share. It only feels different now because they kissed. Well, that and Reki is practically escorting him as they move to his bedroom. He locks that door too just for safety. Is Reki going to watch him undress? Would that be weird? Or would it be more weird for Langa to avoid undressing in front of him. Being naked with Reki is more than appealing, but stripping down in front of the guy he’s crazy for is a little daunting.

Reki doesn’t even seem to notice. He shrugs off his hoodie and hangs it on the back of Langa’s desk chair and heads into the bathroom to turn the water on. It takes forever to get hot at Langa’s place. They’ve meant to call a plumber about it for a long time but both his and his mom’s Japanese is rusty. 

Langa tugs the bathroom door shut and leans against the sink, heart pounding as he watches Reki stick his hand under the water, waiting for it to warm up. 

“That should do it. I can cook when you’re out, or… try to cook. I can microwave.”

Langa smiles a little at the idea of Reki trying to make real food — or himself trying. Shit, one of them should probably learn to cook at some point. Also what does he do now? Reki is still looking at him. 

“Oh!” Reki blushes and glances awkwardly away. “Sorry, I uh… I can leave?”

“No.” Langa protests way too quickly and kicks himself. He just doesn’t want Reki to think he’s pushing him away or that he doesn’t like him. He’s nervous, but… he’s been down to his underwear in front of Reki before. What’s one more step? “I-I mean um… I don’t super… mind it.”

“Is this just your Canadian culture again?” Reki narrows his eyes. “I don’t want you doing something you don’t want to because you don’t want to be impolite.”

“No, it’s fine, I just… it’s new.” Langa tries to say it like it’s no big deal at all but his heart is beating so fast, he thinks he might pass out. He tries to start at his shirt, his hands trembling a little as he fumbles on the first one. God, he’s already being awkward. 

“I get kind of shaky for a while after my anxiety attacks too.” Reki says, his voice casual and non judgemental as he walks up and begins to undo the buttons himself. Langa chooses not to correct him that he’s actually clumsy because he’s so damn nervous right now, but he’s nervous in the good way. He’s embarrassed, but he’s a little bit excited too. 

Reki undoes the buttons all the way up to Langa’s collar. Their eyes meet for a moment and Langa’s heart skips a beat, letting the shirt slide down and off his shoulders. He can see the dust of pink on Reki’s cheeks too and he’d kiss him again right now if didn’t think it would initiate too quickly. 

“Thanks,” Langa tries to say as nonchalantly as he can. Why does he have to be so pale? As Reki steps back to give him a little space, he knows his face is burning red.

He opts to do it quickly before he can chicken out and pops the buttons on his jeans, kicking his sneakers off and undressing himself the rest of the way. He finds he’s brave enough to get naked, but nowhere near ready to look Reki in the eyes while doing it. He doesn’t scramble into the shower per se, leaving at least a second of space to make sure he doesn’t look like he’s hiding from Reki, but he doesn’t linger long before stepping behind the curtain. 

A quiet involuntarily groan escapes him at the hot water spraying between his shoulders and down his back. Shit, he underestimated how sore he was and now he made what absolutely sounded like a sex noise right in front of Reki.

“Was I right?”

“Super right.” Langa sighs, tipping his head back to soak his hair in the hot water. God, that really is better. He needs to find something to talk about if Reki is going to sit here with him though. “How’d you figure out the things that make you feel better? I usually um... feel like nothing works.”

“Trial and error,” Reki says, sitting down in front of the tub and leaning against it. Langa can see the outline of his hair through the curtain. “I uh… had a therapist for a little while when it first started. We couldn’t afford to keep going, but she gave me a list of these coping or relaxation techniques or whatever and some of them helped.”

“Huh.” Langa tries to picture Reki in therapy and his heart hurts a little, just thinking that Reki’s anxiety was so bad. He had his own therapy sessions after his dad passed, but they were all grief focused and he got too uncomfortable talking about it so much. When they moved, he just decided not to pick it up again. “I usually just wait for it to pass.”

“Well, you have me now. If you feel like you need someone, you can always tell me.” Reki says the sweetest thing Langa’s ever heard like it’s the simplest thing in the world. “I mean, as long as I’m not the cause of it… I’m really sorry again.”

“I thought over apologizing was my culture, not yours.”

“Yeah well it’s only cute when you do it.”

Cute? Langa feels a stupid smile form on his face. Maybe he should probe a little further. Offer something to Reki to keep the conversation going. “That was my first kiss by the road earlier,” he admits, watching Reki’s outline through the curtain to see if he can gauge any reaction. 

“Really?” Reki asks, not condescending, but genuinely surprised. “I figured you would have had people all over you back in Canada.”

“No, kind of a lone wolf.”

“Shit, that’s right. I just don’t get that, I mean you’re the coolest person I know. You must have been a kick sss snowboarder. I would have been all over you.”

Langa loves how much of a shameless sap Reki is. He says things so easily, but his words are always so sweet and thoughtful. Langa doesn’t even know if Reki understands how much these small gestures mean to him. “You didn’t have anyone all over you down here?”

“Not exactly.”

“But you’ve kissed people before tonight,” Langa says, more of a statement than a question. If it had been Reki’s first kiss too, he would have told him as soon as Langa revealed it was his own first time. He hopes he’s not too obvious with his prying, but Christ, he’s naked and Reki is right next to him. He wants to know. “How did yours happen?”

“Uh, it was just this one guy. I was at sleep away camp after my first year and I found this other boy who, you know… liked boys? I didn’t really like him all that much, but I really wanted to know what it felt like to have a boyfriend, so we were a thing for the summer. 

The whole summer? They must have done more than kiss and Langa finds himself struck by curiosity and jealousy all at once. It’s not that he judges Reki for anything he’s done in the past. His own Catholic guilt had kept him from doing much exploring, but he wants to know, so he can picture it. It’s an embarrassing thing to admit, but he wonders what Reki would look like fooling around with someone — what he would look like fooling around with him? 

“Did you…?” Langa searches for a polite way to say it. 

“We didn’t have sex or anything,” Reki answers, always reading Langa’s mind whether he means to or not. “We uh did this one thing, but I don’t want to freak you out or anything? I mean it wasn’t a big deal, it kind of sucked, but, I don’t know.”

Langa’s eyes widen. What was it? Shit he regrets not having his own baby gay flings at summer camp and stuff. Maybe he would be less awkward now. “You can tell me, I don’t care.” Shit. “I mean I do care, I just mean… I don’t judge you.”

“I know you don’t.” 

Langa can hear the smile in Reki’s voice and it puts him at ease. He lets the hot water run over him and tries to lean into the feeling, trying to relax himself before Reki actually hears how hard his heart is beating. “So what was it?”

“I kind of uh… sucked his dick?” Reki lets out a nervous laugh at the reveal and Langa can sense his posture tensing. “I wanted to and everything, but he just wouldn’t stay still and he kept yanking my hair. I choked like a million times because he kept thrusting up and he held my head down when he finished.” He shudders a little like he’s trying to shake off the feeling. 

“Sounds like a dick.” 

“He was.”

“I um… I would never do that stuff to you.” It feels like the most reassuring thing to say, but he wants to smack himself in the face immediately. They just kissed for the first time! He shouldn’t be implying anything about Reki sucking his dick yet. Fuck, okay he also needs to not think about Reki sucking his dick right now. 

He thinks maybe a hole will open up for him to die in when he realizes he’s getting hard. Reki is sharing something with him, he shouldn’t be getting off on it — well, he’s more so getting off on the idea of treating Reki right — petting his hair gently, not making him take any more than he wants to, just letting him explore and-

“I’m sure doing anything like that with you would be a million times better than getting on my knees in the woods with, like, a shit ton of mosquitos around.”

Langa wills himself to pass away, his dick only growing more interested instead of less. If Reki turns, he very well might see the silhouette of the damn thing through the curtain. They are really thin curtains… 

“I think it would be fun… if I was doing it with someone nice and all, you know?”

Is Reki… coming onto him? There’s a palpable tension in the air for sure, what with the close proximity and his nakedness and all, but… 

“Yeah,” he swallows hard. “I think it would be.” 

“...Langa?”

He’s going to have a heart attack. 

“You’d… tell me if I was weirding you out right?”

“I think the Canadian in me would be really nice about it, but… yeah. I’m not weirded out now if that’s what you think.” He isn’t weirded out in the slightest, in fact, he’s very very interested in where this conversation is going, but he’s afraid to get ahead of himself. What if he’s misreading things and he comes on too strong? He’s never been good at reading people in the first place. 

Langa watches and winces as he sees Reki turn his head, his gaze lingering a moment before looking away and standing up. Shit, his boner is definitely not invisible behind a shower curtain. Is Reki getting up because he’s uncomfortable? “Sorry, sorry, I-I didn’t mean to,” he swallows hard, a bit of panic rising in his chest again as he pushes a hand between his legs to hide it and prays he hasn’t scared Reki away so soon after reconciling. 

“I… might be having a similar problem.” Reki clears his throat a bit. “But um, I don’t want you to think I’m being creepy or whatever. I can go get started on the food and find a movie or something if you want, I just-“

“Don’t go,” Langa says without thinking, his heart pounding furiously. “I… y-you can come in with me if you want to.” He smacks his free hand over his mouth almost immediately, mortified at how blunt he’d managed to be. He can’t just ask his boyfriend of half an hour to get in the fucking shower with him! Unless maybe…?

“Are you sure?”

“Well… you did see me naked already. It’s no big deal.” It is, in fact, a huge deal, but Langa isn’t self punishing enough to turn down this offer. Instead, he takes his hands away from himself and watches with bated breath as Reki’s silhouette begins undressing. He’s seen Reki in just his underwear plenty of times and he’s always tried not to look, but… he’s never disliked what he saw. In fact, he’s dying to see the one part of Reki that’s been kept hidden, but that might just be the horny virgin in him that’s desperately curious. 

“Well at least we’re even this way, right?” Reki makes that cute little nervous laugh gain as he pulls back the shower curtain — the one he always uses to diffuse tension or act like he isn’t super excited. 

Langa feels frozen as Reki steps into the shower, his eyes wide and locked onto him. Jesus, with the baggy clothes he’s always wearing, Langa had never fully… appreciated him like this. He’s mortified at the fact that his dick visibly stirs with interest, but his eyes are tracing over Reki’s deep v-lines, the trimmed (how thoughtful) patch of hair below his navel — a darker rusty red in contrast to the brightness of his hair. He tries not to stare, but how could he not, as he takes in the sight of Reki completely bared to him. He’s perfectly proportional, circumcised, and downright adorable if he’s being honest. He can already imagine what it would feel like in his hand, oh God, how it would feel in his mouth.

“Uh, did I break you?” Reki waves a hand in front of Langa’s face. “I know I’m a real catch and all, but don’t shut down on me.”

“Shut up,” Langa laughs, blushing as he tries to avert his eyes. Best of all, Reki is in a similar state of arousal, half hard as his eyes seem to travel over Langa once again. He feels shy all of a sudden, wanting to cover himself, but he pushes the Catholic shame away with a swift mental kick and reaches out to take Reki’s wrist instead. “Come in the water. You’ll get cold.”

Reki smiles a bit and steps forward, leaving Langa to stand in the water as he wraps his arms around his shoulders and rises on his toes to give him a soft kiss on the mouth. 

Langa expects himself to freeze up, but it feels so comforting and somehow familiar that he just leans right into it, wrapping his arms around Reki’s waist and kissing him back. He keeps his hips pulled back a little to keep from rubbing up against him too obscenely, but Reki seems to have other plans, pushing one hand up into Langa’s hair and taking another half step forward so their bodies are flush together. Langa nearly makes an embarrassingly slutty sound at the feel of Reki’s erection against his hip, but he contains it by deepening the kiss, licking into Reki’s mouth and shivering in the best way. He tastes like water droplets.

“Langa,” Reki breathes against his lips, one arm falling from around his shoulders to wrap around his waist instead. His hand rests on the small of Langa’s back, rubbing the smooth skin ever so slightly. He’s so close to grabbing his ass and Langa briefly wonders if maybe he’s more of a bottom after all when he realizes how much he wants him to do it. “Is this okay?” He asks, tilting his head and leaning in to kiss up Langa’s neck.

“Yeah, it’s- okay, whoa,” Langa gasps when Reki licks the water drops right off his neck. “Do that again.”

Reki laughs a little and repeats the motion, latching onto Langa’s neck and sucking lightly.

So this is what getting a hickey feels like. Jesus, Langa can see the hype. He tips his head to the side to give Reki more access and tries not to groan, more than aware that his dick is pressed up against Reki’s abs right now. 

“I won’t leave marks.”

You can leave all the marks you want, is what Langa thinks, but he supposed he doesn’t want a badly placed hickey to be the way he tells his mom he’s got a boyfriend. Boyfriend. The word makes him so stupidly happy. 

“You have no idea how jealous a dozen people at S would be of me right now.” Reki chuckles, pressing a cute line of kisses over Langa’s jaw. “It feels mean to keep Snow all to myself.”

“Well, Snow, only wants one person.”

“And you’re sure again that person is me?” Reki raises an eyebrow. “You could pretty much have your pick you know.”

“Shut up.” Langa quiets him with a kiss and allows himself to be a little braver, sliding his hand down and over the curve of Reki’s ass. Reki lets out a little gasp when he squeezes it and something stirs in Langa that makes him want to hear that sound a million more times. 

Reki’s first experience with a blowjob sounded like it was beyond shitty and he never mentioned being on the receiving end… Langa’s heart catches in his throat, an impossible desire stirring in him as Reki nips at his neck again and grinds subtly against his hip. There’s a better way to make up for that shitty first time, Langa realizes.

“Let me blow you,” Langa says before he can chicken out, blushing fiercely when Reki lifts his head to look at him.

“Really?” Reki’s eyes are as wide as he’s ever seen them. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

“I… haven’t gotten one before.”

“I haven’t given one before.”

Reiki looks like he’s about to short-circuit and Langa feels a twinge of pride, knowing that Reki is as excited as he is. Seeing him a little bit nervous settles his own nerves a bit. He doesn’t know what it will taste like or if he’ll be able to take the whole thing in his mouth. It looks like he can, but he doesn’t have a single reference point. Shit, why didn’t he practice on a banana or something dumb like they do in movies? Should he swallow? He probably should, right? Maybe he’ll just see what happens… 

Langa places hand on Reki’s shoulder and gently eases him back a step, pressing him up against the tile wall and wincing when Reki hisses at the cold. “Sorry.”

“No more sorrys,” Reiki laughs. “It’s fine.”

“I’m Canadian, you can’t stop me from apologizing.” Langa presses his lips to Reki’s forehead just because he can and tries to figure out the most graceful way to lower himself to his knees when Reki’s hand comes up, brushing his wet hair back behind his ears. It practically spellbinds him. He meets the softness in Reki’s eyes, kind as ever, but radiating excitement. He lets Reki keep his hand in place as he carefully lowers himself to kneel in front of him. Like this, the water still splashes over his lower back, which feels nice, but more importantly, he doesn’t have to worry about drowning once his mouth is full. 

“I’ll um… I-I’ll warn you if I’m going to…”

“It’s okay. I want to see what it tastes like,” Langa answers honestly, his eyes fixed on the arousal in front of him. “I… might suck at it.”

“Well I certainly hope you’re about to suck.”

“Shut up.” Langa snorts. It puts him at ease that they can still laugh during something like this. Reki is adorably dorky and honestly? It only makes him want to do this more. He also isn’t quite sure how to look… sexy or anything while doing this, but he figures he can’t look all that stupid, can he? It’s a blowjob, how bad could he possibly be at it? 

He wants to look up at Reki as he starts, but he finds himself a little too shy to do so, deciding to ease into it instead. He drags his tongue around the head to start and immediately feel Reki’s grip on his hair tighten — not painfully so. Langa kind of likes it. He takes the tip into his mouth and is surprised at how much room it takes up already. It’ll probably take practice before he can relax his throat, but this is good enough to start, right? It doesn’t taste like much of anything, a little sweet with the spray of water from the shower even. He likes the weight of it on his tongue and the way Reki’s abs and thighs tense when he sucks on it. 

He hums a little just to let Reki know he’s enjoying it, but the reverberations seem to do something because Reki’s knees go a little weak. 

“Langa,” he moans under his breath, petting his hair with gentle strokes. It feels nice. 

Langa places a free hand on Reki’s hip in case he bucks forward and breathes through his nose as he pushes himself a little further down, taking Reki about halfway in his mouth before he starts to bob his head a little mimicking what he’s seen done in porn (which isn’t that much to begin with, he’d always get embarrassed about watching it). Shit, he’s practically aching between his legs now, but he doesn’t want to seem so desperate he can’t resist touching himself and he certainly doesn’t want to come in his fist before he even gets Reki there. He holds Reki’s hip a little tighter instead and moans around him as he takes a little bit more in, his heart thumping when the tip nudges the back of his throat. 

“Fuck, Langa,” Reki pants, clearly struggling not to move his hips forward as he pushes both hands into Langa’s hair now. “Y-You don’t need to take it down your throat yet or anything, th-this feels really good already.”

Langa pulls off for a second and grins, a little satisfied with himself as he strokes Reki in his hand and looks up at him. “I could try.”

“No!” Reki says with a frantic wave of his hand. “I-I mean, yes, but like… don’t. I don’t think I can… handle that yet.”

Oh. If Reki can’t handle more without coming, that has to mean Langa’s doing a good job, right? He nods his head in understanding and goes back to work, humming a pleased sound as he takes Reki in his mouth again and pushes as far down as he can without using his throat. 

He thinks he might really like this. It feels so good every time Reki makes a sound for him, every time his hands lightly pull at his hair, always stroking it in apology if he thinks he tugged too hard. Langa never thought he’d be this aroused on the giving end, but God, he just might love this. He loves making Reki feel good. Knowing now all the stupid things people have been saying to him too, Langa just wants to make him feel loved and worshipped and all the things Reki deserves. 

He experiments a little with his tongue and finds that Reki seems to like it the most when Langa swirls it around the tip, so he does it often. That part feels nice in his mouth and he loves the way Reki squirms a little, whining quietly, but still loud enough for Langa to hear. 

He’s starting to believe in the legitimacy of blue balls a little bit, almost painfully hard as he moves his head back and forth, but his own pleasure can wait. It feels too good just doing this, showing how much he loves Reki, how much he wants to pleasure him. He’s always fantasized more about giving Reki pleasure he supposes. Even thinking about having actual sex, he doesn’t think about fucking Reki in terms of his own pleasure as much. He thinks more about where Reki might be most sensitive, if he would like things slow, or fast (probably fast and a little chaotic). He pictures him arching his back, digging his nails into Langa’s shoulders, moaning and wrapping his legs tight around him. 

“Langa, I think I’m close,” Reki pants with a gentle tug on his hair. “Shit, I don’t mean to be so quick, you’re just… you’re definitely as good at this as you are at everything else.”

Langa pulls off for a moment and gives what he hopes is an extremely slutty bat of his eyelashes as he strokes Reki in his hand and kisses the tip again. “It’s good?”

“It’s amazing. You’re amazing.” Reki squirms a little impatiently, his body tense with need and his face adorably flushed. “Fuck, Langa.” His back arches a little off the tiled wall. “Please, please, I… Don’t stop.”

With a groan of his own, Langa takes Reki back in his mouth and starts to suck at his leisure. He bobs his head back and forth, lathering Reki with his tongue and humming softly around him. He knows to keep the pace steady now if he doesn’t want to tease Reki too much, so he uses his hand on what he can’t fit in his mouth and hollows his cheeks.

“Lan-gaaa,” Reki moans, loud enough that it reverberates off the walls, his thighs beginning to tremble. “Oh fuck, fuck, s-seriously you should pull back if you don’t want to… Oh fuck, Langa!” Reki comes with a gasp and Langa pushes down as far as he can to swallow it.

He finds out pretty quickly that he still should have pulled back to swallow and not the opposite, but he only chokes a little bit and gulps down hard to suck Reki through the orgasm. It fills his mouth, a little dripping down his chin, but he swallows dutifully anyways, his heart hammering with the thrill of it. The taste isn’t spectacular, but it’s nothing unbearable. It’s definitely worth seeing Reki’s adorable shocked face.

“Stand up,” Reki breathes. “Like right now.”

“Hm?” Langa frowns and rises to his feet, his knees a little sore from pressing into the porcelain for so long. He hopes he didn’t fuck anything up, he thought he did a pretty good job. 

Reki takes Langa by the shoulders and flips their positions, pressing him against the shock of the cold wall before soothing him instantly by pressing the length of their bodies together in a kiss.

It’s Langa who moans this time, loud and low against Reki’s lips. His dick is still painfully hard, getting some much needed friction as they press together and Reki appears to be licking the taste of himself right out of Langa’s mouth. His kisses are hungry and excited, his hands sliding affectionately up and down Langa’s sides as they kiss and kiss. 

Langa’s eyes roll back a little when Reki shifts against him, providing just a hint of friction as brings his hands up to cup Langa’s face.

“Let me do it to you,” Reki breathes, his body loose and languid from orgasm, his eyes half kissed but still full of desire. “You’re so fucking hot, do you have any idea?”

“I thought I was cold,” Langa smiles. “Isn’t that part of my whole nickname?”

“Stop being such a dork and let me suck your dick.”

Reki doesn’t wait for permission to drop to his knees, placing his hands on Langa’s hips and holding him against the wall. “Can I?” He asks like a child pleading in a candy shop and not a dude who’s about to go down on his best friend. It makes Langa shiver and it’s not just from the loss of the hot water. 

“Yeah.” Langa gulps. “Y-Yeah, you can.”

“Good.” Reki grins, looking almost mischievous as he wraps a hand around the base to angle it towards his lips and dives right in.

“Jesus Chri- Reki!” Langa gasps, his eyes screwing shut as Reki takes him almost all the way in with one fell swoop and begins to work his mouth over him at an absolutely overwhelming and chaotic speed. It’s unlike anything he’s ever felt before. Reki’s tongue is licking him in ways he never even considered, his mouth warm and wet and perfect. “Re-kiiii,” he moans unabashed as he knocks his head back against the wall and tries to hold on to Reki’s hair for dear life. He’s careful not to pull on it, but Reki is sucking his dick at breakneck speed and Langa thinks he might have a heart attack before he even comes.

Reki moans around him shamelessly, bobbing back and forth and relaxing his throat to take him in even deeper. The whimper Langa lets out is far from the manliest thing he’s ever done, but the sound seems to spur Reki on and he just keeps going.

“Reki, I’m gonna come,” he says through his teeth, breathing deep and trying to calm himself down, will himself to hold on for more than two freaking minutes of the hottest thing anyone’s ever done to him. “I can’t… If you keep doing that- A-AHH!” Reki takes the full length of his dick in his mouth, deep throating him like some kind of practiced veteran and Langa doesn’t have a chance in hell.

He cries out when he comes, removing one hand from Reki’s hair and banging it against the wall instead to keep from hurting him. It’s better than anything he’s ever been able to do himself, the orgasm seeming to roll through his whole body. 

Reki doesn’t choke in the slightest, just keeps sucking and swallows every burst of come Langa releases — and he releases a lot, like, way more than usual. 

All Langa can do is whimper Reki’s name and try to keep himself upright as his knees wobble.

“Sorry, I kind of couldn’t help it,” Reki says when he pulls off, rising to his feet and resting one hand on Langa’s hip, his thumb rubbing those soothing little circles against his skin again. He kisses Langa with closed lips at first, nuzzling their noses together when he pulls away. 

It’s all Langa can do to wrap his arms around Reki’s shoulders and kiss him again, licking gently into his mouth to taste himself just like Reki had. He feels like he’s floating. His whole body is loose and relaxed, his heart finally settling into a steady happy thrum as he lets his hands wander down Reki’s sides then around his waist. He doesn’t even feel nervous when he slides one hand down over the curve of Reki’s ass and squeezes, kissing him softly as he touches and explores. 

He’d been so afraid he lost everything tonight, but instead he’s practically living out a wet dream. He doesn’t want to let Reki go. 

“Having fun?” Reki grins, one hand still in Langa’s hair, stroking it and scratching lightly at his scalp like he knows Langa likes. 

“I think you literally sucked my soul out.”

“I tend to get a little… carried away with the things I like. Sorry.” Reki says, not sorry at all as he presses a kiss to Langa’s cheek. “We should probably wash for real before your hot water runs out.”

Langa’s eyes flick to the shampoo and his heart warms as an idea comes over him. Reki took care of him today… he wants to return the favor as much as he can. “Come here.” He puts his hands on Reki’s shoulders and backs him up gently into the water, reaching up to rake his fingers through the red hair, soaking it all the way through. 

Reki sighs under the water, tipping his head back to chase it, and Langa takes the opportunity to press a few kisses up his exposed neck. 

“Close your eyes.” Langa instructs, taking the shampoo from the shelf behind them and lathering some in his hand. “You’re gonna end up smelling like me.”

“No complaints.” Reki says with another sigh as he steps forward out of the water and lets Langa lather the shampoo in his hair. He nuzzles his head into the touch and Langa makes sure to drag his fingers over his scalp in all the ways Reki likes. He’s no stranger to this in some parts. Reki’s fallen asleep in his lap before while Langa played with his hair and Langa frequently plops his head down on one of Reki’s thighs to receive the same treatment. 

Langa tilts Reki’s head back to rinse the suds out and kisses his neck again as he lets the hot water flow through Reki’s hair. “I want to take care of you too, you know… when you’re sad, you should tell me. I like making you feel better.”

“You’re such a softie,” Reki says with a smile, wrapping his arms around Langa again and hugging him tight as he presses their lips together again. “Let me do you now. Then we can just put a movie on or something.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Do you feel okay now?”

“I feel great.” Langa nods, kissing the tip of Reki’s nose just because he wants to then kissing his lips again just because he can’t help it. “Thank you, Reki.”

*****

They spend the rest of the evening on the couch, neither of them paying any mind to the movie as they snuggle close and exchange soft kisses every so often. Langa can’t keep his hands off of Reki and Reki can’t seem to resist kissing his neck every time he gets the chance. 

Reki lies comfortably on top of Langa, his head tucked against his shoulder, Langa’s arms around his waist. One kiss eventually leads to another and another until they’re making out again, hips helplessly rolling against one another until they come for the second time and have to change clothes again. 

They share Langa’s bed for the night, shamelessly cuddling and whispering stupid jokes to each other well passed midnight because they just don’t want the day to end. Langa keeps one hand scratching lightly up and down Reki’s back, loving how it relaxes him and makes him nestle in closer. 

It’s a bit of a chilly night, giving them all the excuses they need to huddle under the blankets, limbs tangled together. 

They eventually quiet down enough to enjoy a comfortable silence, Langa letting Reki’s soft breathing against his neck lull him to sleep. 

They still have a lot to talk about. They need to fix Langa’s board and commemorate it properly then make a new one on top of that. They have to decide if they’re going to tell their moms or try to keep the stealthy sleep overs going under the guise of ‘best friends.’ Langa needs to talk to Reki more about the tournament and make sure that if he keeps skating, he isn’t hurting Reki’s feelings or worrying them too much. 

But these things can wait until the morning. Right now, Reki is in his arms and Langa couldn’t possibly ask for more. 

“Mm, Langa?” Reki mumbles, nuzzling his cheek against his chest. 

“Yeah?” 

“I know I said I think I love you earlier, but… I definitely know I do.” Reki yawns and hikes a leg up over Langa’s thigh, already half asleep when he mumbles, “love you Langa.”

“Love you too, Reki.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on twitter @nuttinonice !! and pls leave comments and kudos honest to god i need the motivation.
> 
> Also if you had a good time here, any RTs or likes on twitter as well go a long way <3 https://twitter.com/nuttinonice/status/1370862166107062274


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